Worried

Matt Rouge at Firefly coffee shop in Fort Wayne, Indiana.I’m worried about you: broke, pregnant, switching from a more stable job to a less (any new job is unstable, but this one seemed especially so to me). Worried that you’re going to go back to him and he’s going to beat the crap out of you or worse. Worried that you’re too proud and obstinate to call me if something really bad does happen to you.

It’s been nearly a year since we first met and my reality changed forever, for the better, despite the tribulation I went through by first touching the divine (I did, even if you feel you did not) and then losing the divine. “Better to have loved and lost,” as they say.

If I emailed you, I know you’d write me back: you like the attention. Then I’d have to endure the same passive-aggressive communication, the doling out of words on your part, the puling for attention on mine. I don’t miss that.

But I miss you, the higher you. The advocate. I hope she’s taking care of you and your/his baby.

I was up in Fort Wayne recently to check out a manufacturing facility. Wherever, however you were and are, I raised and raise this morning chai in your honor. Blessings to you, Great Spirit!

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